Soulmates

**The following was written by Jessi on 25 September 2017**

Recently, while chatting with a good friend about all things love, the topic of soul mates came up. This friend groaned at my mention of the phrase. To her, and to many, the concept of soul mates rarely exists outside the Hollywood rom-com world. However, their justifications, while valid and given with good reason, have yet to sway my, perhaps juvenile, view. I don’t consider myself a romantic in the typical sense. I’m not a fancy dinners out or bouquet of roses type of romantic. I’m a sticky notes with cute affections written on them left in random places sort of romantic. A, “hey, you cooked dinner and it was delicious, now go sit and tell me about your day while I wash the dishes”, romantic. Kind gestures, cheesy three line poems scribbled on scraps of paper, and boasting about how proud I am of them as they accomplish something, anything, they’ve been working at.

To me, that is romance. The sort of thing that comes naturally when you genuinely love, appreciate, and care for someone so deeply, you want to do all the things for them. The sort of thing, in my opinion, that only comes totally natural when you’re with your soul mate. The one created just for you. The one that fits so perfectly with you, like that one missing puzzle piece you’ve searched all over for, that when people see you together they say, “they were made for each other”.

Does this push me into the “hopeless romantic” category? Perhaps.

Does it change my opinion on the topic? Nope.

I refuse to give up hope that this one person is out there. Somewhere. And when we meet, however we meet, it will be just like I imagine. No, not fireworks or time standing still or something wild and crazy but rather, a sense of peace. A sense of, “I feel like I’ve known you my whole life”, because, in a way, we have.

According to Greek mythology, every person was born with four arms, four legs, and two faces. However, Zeus, fearful of their power, split everyone in two, forever condemning humanity to spend their lives in search of their other half. (Plato, The Symposium)

Plato also stated that love is, simply, “the name for the desire and pursuit of the whole”. Which, I think, sounds terribly romantic. So, for me, and for Plato as well it seems, finding your soul mate wouldn’t result in feelings of explosions in your heart or time freezing, but rather, a sense of completion. You’ve spent your whole life, up to that point, searching, perhaps without even realising it, for that who will make you whole.

Perhaps this is why so many, when writing about falling in love, true genuine love, refer to it as, “coming home”. Because maybe that’s how you know. No fireworks or lightning bolts or ridiculous chaos, but instead, peace and a sense of wholeness. For the first time in your life. After so many years of wandering around, incomplete, you finally feel whole; complete.

Just as Jerry Maguire said to Dorothy Boyd, “you…complete me”.

**The following was written by Jessi on 8 June 2019**

I had dreamed of the moment my entire life. The moment I would know that I had met my soul mate. A little girl raised on Disney Princess movies and Happily Ever After’s turned into a woman who was, secretly, an utterly hopeless romantic. Sure I’d roll my eyes at cheesy Rom-Coms or scoff at the ridiculousness of romantic songs but, deep down inside, I was eagerly awaiting the moment when I was the one experiencing all the cheesy moments.

I don’t know the exact moment I knew. It wasn’t a specific moment in time but rather, a culmination of moments that confirmed what my soul already knew, long before my heart and brain got on board. It wasn’t fireworks or time standing still or anything wild or loud. It was a sense of peace I had never felt before. An overwhelming feeling of calm that I felt deep down in my soul.

She is “sticky notes with cute affections written on them left in random places”. She is “cheesy three line poems scribbled on scraps of paper”. She is my best friend. My adventure buddy. The only person I am completely myself around. She is “coming home”. She is my forever. She will be my wife and mother of our children. I will grow old in complete and utter happiness with her. She is my forever.

She is more than everything I dreamed of.

She is the end of my “pursuit of the whole.”